The week after

Well as I said last week, my pop passed away on the 15th. Seeing him for the first time in the casket was heartbreaking and I never seen my mom so sad, well, ever since my grandmother died but she never leaned over her and cried so hard. there was an awkward momment when my father came to the viewing. Mind you my parents have been divorced since I was 8th grade and I'm 24 now so yeah. They haven't really talked to each other since the child support stopped and they didn't have to talk anymore. They hugged, not once but 3 TIMES!! Me and my brother were shocked into silence. After seeing family and friends of the family from years ago we parted and wait for Friday to aproach. That was even more sad b/c we had him cremated and the color guard was at the cemetary since he was in the Air Force. When they played the trumpit theme that I can;t remember the name of I cried even harder. That man was loved! Saturday I think was a little harder for me b/c me and my boyfriend were just fighting and he's just not seeing this through my eyes. I had a fmaily member pass away and I wanna be around my family and he was just being an ass. So as we sat in Friendly's I tried keeping it together but for some odd reason, every bite I took i tried blinking away tears. Now since I am back at work ( heven't been here since Monday last week) It feels good to go back to the living world. I get a few sad moments here and there but then I remember all the good times and that we live with the memories that are left. I just hope I will dream of him where he's walking and holding my grandmother's hand and syaing everything is ok. When my grandmother passed away it made me realize I took her life for granted. I never wanted to see her, I was self centered and just a brat and when she passed I was in shock b/c I was never nice to be aorund her once she went in the hospital. I promised myself to never be that way with my pop. I wished and prayed my ass off that I can just see my grandmother one last time and tell her I'm sorry and I love her and miss her. That night she came to me in a dream and she smiled at me. I love you guys and miss you. Love your Grandduaghter, Jamie.

have a nice day guys!

SAD WEEK/WEEKEND

 Well Valentine's say will never look the same to me again. Well the day after anyway. My grandfather on my mother's side passed away. I am sad b/c last time I saw him was Thanksgiving and just wish I said goodbye earlier. I got the call from my mother 9:20 pm on Feb. 15th. We think a massive heartattack. I don't know the name of the disease that he had but it was the deteriation of the muscle and we are actually surprised he stayed with us longer b/c the heart is the biggest muscle in the body..anyway. I am happy on another note b/c he didn't suffer. His mife, my grandmother suffered for 20 some odd years. But I know when poppop went up to the big pearly gates he was not alone. My grandmother and one of his sons was waiting or him and I'm glad that they are reunited. My grandfather was the most gentle, kindhearted man I ahve and will ever meet. he showed no hate, loved his family and anyone who would talk. he stuck around to see 5 great-grand children come into this world ( no none of them are not mine). I feel bad for my cousin who is in Afghanastan b/c he can't say his goodbyes. My grandfather was the last one in my family...yes I still have my dad's father but one, I never felt like a Whitwood, two, I never really saw him and three, he has full blown Dementia and has no idea who anyone is. My dad's mom passed away in 2008 I think and I wasn't heartbroken over that either b/c again I never felt like a Whitwood. So if you see me say my dad's mom or whoever you know who I'm tlaking about, but when I say poppop or mommom I mean my mom's parents who were there for me. Well I made into work today but am taking the next 3 days off for the viewing and funeral. I miss you poppop and I pray to see you in my dreams like when mommom did when I cried to see her again. I love you and miss you. R.I.P.