Thankful for...

So since everyone on Facebook is making 'I am thankful for' for everyday, I figured I would do this and get all the things I am thankful for out of the way.

1. I am thankful for my family (yes I will split this up with each person because every one deserves their own)
2. I am thankful for my car ( new car)
3. I am thankful for both of my jobs. Yes they do get hectic and what not but I still love both.
4. I am thankful for my mom. Even though when I was younger, her and I never seemed to get along but now that I'm older I cherish everyday and chance I have with her. God couldn't be everywhere so he created mother's.
5. I am thankful for my dad. Even though I don't see him as often as I should he and I know we still love each other. He taught me things that some girls don't know anything about, like fishing, casting a net (oh god the memories) camping, bow and arrow shooting, even some car things...notice I said some lol. He was always there, and told me to be happy and I am now.
6. I am thankful for my brothers. Yes brothers. Kevin I love you, yes we have hiccups in the road but what siblings don't fight? Matthew, I haven't seen you since I was in 8th grade BUT hopefully when I have more money and vacation time next year I will go with dad to Emerald Isle for Easter and maybe you can come visit. I miss you.
7. I am thankful for my best friend April. We have been friends for 21 years!! HOLY CRAP! I know some people can say that but I didn't think I could ever say that. Yes we lost touch for a while but we always found our way back. You have been there through thick and thin. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you walk down that aisle.
8. I am thankful for David and Nicole. David, we re-connected back in 2009 I want to say. We found each other on Myspace and just chatted online and talked on the phone. It took me 4 years to finally come and see you and the family that you created. I love your wife and my, yes I will call him nephew, Aden. You guys are amazing and I can't wait until I see you again.
9. I am thankful for Tamara. Oh lord what can I say about this girl? She is crazy but I love the crap out of her. She doesn't stand for my crap when I bitch and whine. We haven't known each other long but man, she's awesome. I miss her so much since we don't work together anymore.
10. I am thankful for my dog Samantha. Yes, I said dog. Sammy has been my rock for 11 years. she turned 12 in October and even though I'm not living at home with her I still love her and when I do visit I make sure she hears me. My heart will break into a thousand pieces when it's her time to be taken away. She has seem me go through heart break, death and even happiness.
11. I am thankful for my new boss at BISM. That is all.
12. I am thankful for my health. It seems that my system was going through a lot and the stress was getting to me more and more but now that I have answers to certain things I can move on and live a happy healthy life.
13. I am thankful for Marie. I haven't known here for every long but she helped me out when I couldn't even eat while my mother was away. She always makes sure that I am ok. I love you Marie, thank you!
14. I am thankful for books. Without them I don't think I could have been the person I am today. They kept me happy and occupied through tough times in the past 4 years. They took me to different places where I could laugh and cry and not worry about what was happening around me.
15. Last but not least, Bill. I am very, very thankful for this man. He has made this girl smile to where her cheeks hurt. He actually cares about me and what I do, but he's not begging for my attention. If I want to go out, I can without feeling guilty or given the whole guilt trip. I have been a lot of firsts and the best one was when he told me he loved me and tells me that everyday. I love you Bill, I do and I am thankful you wandered into my life un-expected but at the right time.

Well there you go people. The ones that I have mentioned thank you. Thank you for always being there. if I missed anyone I'm sorry but my brain hurts trying to rack through everything my brain has going on in it. Just know I love you all! Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Health

So. some or maybe a lot of you have been wondering why my posts either seem sad or what the hell is going on? Well you see on October 6th marked me being 3 months late. If you "guys" don't get what I mean, it means I wasn't having a period. I haven't had one since July. Well some of my friends and even my current boyfriend we wondering what was going on. I would get the whole pregnancy talk and what not from everyone. Well here's the thing. December 2012 was the last time I took birth control. The reason I stopped was because I saw it as, I was in a committed relationship for four years, we have great families, our own cars and places to live. We saw it as we would be okay if it ever happened. Well that relationship ended and well I had a low point in my life. I was desperate one night and got with a friend. Now thou will remain nameless but let's just say yes, one thing lead to another. Well let's go a month down the road me and Bill are hanging out and start dating. August came and so did September. Still no period. I have taken 4 pregnancy tests and they all said negative. Well last month I finally broke down and made a Gyno appointment to see what was wrong. Well she confirmed I was too small for being pregnant for how long I would have been along. So she ordered blood tests for Thyroid, testosterone and also a blood test for pregnancy just to really rule it out. Well after waiting and waiting, she finally called me and said something is wrong with my thyroid. She couldn't go into details because she is a Gyno. So after researching it online I see I have been having symptoms for a while now.

• Feeling tired, weak, or depressed. (Bill is the one who picked up on this. We would be going to bed and he would see I am still dead tired at work and say I was sleeping like a rock, to where I didn't even move. But I would still wake up and want a long nap)
• Memory problems or having trouble thinking clearly. (This only occurs some of the time, but it was to where people would be talking to me and I wouldn't understand a lick of what they were talking about.)
• Heavy or irregular menstrual periods. ( I have always had periods once a month since stopping birth control. Only recently did it just stop. My body would act like it was ready to go through a menstrual cycle. My face would break out, I'd get more tired and feel bloated and crampy, but then nothing would happen.)
• Coarse and thinning hair. (My hair has never fallen out this bad. I know everyone sheds but I'm cleaning out my hair brush every 4 days in stead of twice a month. And bill keeps complaining about what's left on the bathroom floor)
• Modest weight gain, often 10 lb (4.5 kg) or less. (According to the Gyno, I have gained 10lbs since I saw her in January)

That's all that pertains to me. What I read was that some of the symptoms can go unnoticed for years and years until it's too late. Well I just made an appointment to see an Endocrinologist next Friday. Praying that they can see what the problem is, get me on meds that I will need and maybe I can focus on my life. The reason why I have been so stressed out lately is because I am flat broke. Like broker then broke. It's to where I have to make decisions on if I'm going to be able to eat or drive or even have a cell phone. Yes I am given money so I can stay at Bill's and I hate taking that money away from him. He makes just as much as me at one job and that's horrible. Now to the people that keep telling me "How do you work 2 jobs and still begging for money?" Well guess what? At both jobs I am not making no more then 7-9 bucks an hour. Yeah, it sucks. Maybe if I was bring home like 13-14 bucks an hour from my full time then maybe just maybe I would be ok, but guess what I'm not. and my hours have shrunk at my full time job. It's to where I might have to look for another part time job and work 3 schedules because it's gotten bad. *Heavy sigh* Now I hope everyone realizes I'm not rolling in the dough as many of you think I am.