UP

Wow. Just wow. I love talking to this guy Rudy at work. He always seems to know what I need to hear to make sense of a situation when it doesn't. Does that make sense? Well anyway, I was telling him that Bill, the new guy I'm talking to is a really nice guy and how we can just laugh at the same stupid shit. He said that we make a really cute couple and just seem to match. I feel like I have known Bill for more then just the 3 weeks we've really known each other. Rudy told me that....ok here is where I'm going to lose some of you because it's about GOD but hear me out......he said GOD puts a test in front of you and what it really is isn't a test at all. It's a run through of what you can and can't handle then your really tested and graded on the real situation. I laughed and said yeah well I think I passed with just enough effort. He then said "well sometimes things have to get worse before it gets good, like really good." That's what made my gears turn a little bit. I said "well yeah look at my last relationship. I fought with all that I had in order for it to work. I was a secret for a year until Pat's family accepted me into their lives then I was still a secret on where I was living. I was still a secret and we would fight over stupid stuff but I still kept it together until one day poof it was gone. And I didn't care." I really thought about it. Maybe I was tested to see what I could stand and I see that I was strong. I was so strong i blasted through that situation, yes it took me four years to realize "oh my god I can do better" Now I don't think I have ever been happier. Yeah yeah some of you might be looking at it like "damn you haven't even been alone for a month and your already clinging to another guy" First of all it's my own damn life and i can do whatever the hell I want. Second I never said we were in a true boyfriend girlfriend relationship but that doesn't mean me and him are seeing other people, we're not, just each other. We like each other. I thought it was just going to be a friendship but I see there is something there. He's taking me to the Orioles game this Friday and we have AMAZING seats. Well all I can say I am happy where I am right now and I know I can see something good is going to happen.