Would you like a scrambled brain with that?

I might not be the only one who thinks this but, do you ever wonder if we grew up too quick? I think back to when I was younger and wished to be older because it seemed like the grown ups had life made. Boy was I wrong! I remember being in the car and arguing with my dad about going home early from the Science center because I had homework and my older brother looking at me because I was screaming like a banshee that "I can't wait to be grown up so I can be president and do away with school and homework!" Ok little Jamie, don't get a head of yourself. I think about the times I would spin myself on any swing I could get to. Especially the one at my grandparents house. It was a hammock like swing that I would twist so tight and high until my feet couldn't touch the ground. I think I did it because I knew the release it would send my mind into. if I had a bad week at school I would look forward to going to that swing. Once I knew it was tight enough, I would tuck my feet under me and let go. I would spin round and round, releasing all the built up stress. I would let the tickling sensation in my belly just take over. I just got Goosebumps as I reminisce on this experience. I miss the random fishing trips my dad would take us on, Sandy Point and Solomons Island are the ones I miss most. Some of the places I don't remember the names of but I know the scenery in my head.  remembering buying a pair of roller blades from a couple that was moving and I would use them every day just to be outside. I remember falling so hard one time, I thought I wouldn't be able to get up.

These times make me cry because I did have such a good childhood and I regret wanting to grow up so quick. I lost friends, made new ones, discovered what love was, or at least the thought of it. I look at the same picture of me and my dad from the father daughter 50's dance everyday. I know I mention this a lot but that was one of the times I wish I stayed young. there's even a picture of me eating raw pumpkin on our front porch and I just laugh because I was sick for a straight week after that. These moments and memories just make me miss my youth. No one tells a child how hard it will be when you get older. No one really tells you about your first period until it's the night before your first day of seventh grade and that the large pads are the only option right now. No one said that kids could be so mean as we go through stages of schooling. No one tells you about the kids who bully you know will have a shitty life later on and that everything they said to you meant nothing. No, you see a child playing in a sand box and all you wanna do is think, wow, to be that age again. I guess I can't say that I wanted a different life because I did. Hell, I got diaries about me wanting a different family, but I was dealt this hand. I was given this family, though broken in some areas but I love them. I'm about to take on another family with the love of my life. Oh yeah, the love of my life. If some of you don't know, Me and Bill are getting married!! It happened in September, and no there really is no official date. The funds just aren't there but he doesn't want to wait that long which puts me under pressure because I want the dress, the experience and the whole party, but money is what makes the world go round. I'm told to just relax right now and don't worry about it, everything will come into play but it's a year and 4 months from the date I mentally set.

Alright, I won't leave this on a negative note, that's just how my brain works, hence the title. But I will say this, don't let anyone ruin your day. You woke up, went to work and breathed. Your alive and be happy for that.